Today I helped bring a patient to the same room where Tori died.
I noticed, and remembered, and I *cared*, but it did not bother me.
I think I have made some progress.
There was the potential for a lot of triggers today - my first medical flight, lots of coworkers talking about drowning rates over holiday weekends, bringing a patient to the children's hospital....
However, instead of feeling triggered, I felt POWERFUL. I enjoyed the actual flying, of course. But I really felt like "a doctor" - I knew most of what the actual medical people were talking about, I knew what was going on when the physician was intubating, I knew what to say to the parents to help explain what was going on, I knew how to read the CT. I felt on top of the world (literally, especially when I was standing on the helicopter pad).
I was able to take some sweet photos while I was in the air - I will post them later, but for now, I just feel GOOD. And that's pretty damn awesome.
