Wednesday, October 17, 2012

Dirty Mnemonics

Here's a little insight into the medical mind: we're all a bunch of perverts.

Why? We have to memorize. A lot. And while a fair number of the names we have to memorize make some logical sense (arginosuccinate synthetase SYNTHESIZES arginosuccinate, extensor digitorum longus is a longer muscle that extends the hand, etc), there are a lot of names floating about that are just plain weird and difficult to remember. Compounding this is the fact that we have to memorize a whole bunch of these at once or in relation to each other. What's a poor, overworked medical student to do?!

We make a mnemonic. We come up with or copy someone else's fun little ditty or phrase that helps us remember the order of wrist bones or cranial nerves or whatever the heck it is we're learning this week. And while there are some tame phrases out there, it's of course WAY more fun to remember the dirty ones.

Want to take a guess at what the following mnemonics stand for?

A) Some lovers try positions that they can't handle.

B) Oh oh oh, to touch and feel very good vibrations; such heaven.

C) Some say marry money, but my brother says big boobs matter most.

D) All prostitutes take money.

E) The really naughty perverted people f(ornicate) caudally anteriorly

Yes, these are all things I've learned at medical school. Some of them even from the professors themselves. Give up?

A) Carpal (wrist) bones (Scaphoid, Lunate, Triquetrum, Pisiform, Trapezium, Trapezoid, Capitate, Hamate)
B) the 12 cranial nerves
C) Also related to cranial nerves: tells whether the nerve carries Sensory, Motor, or Both sensations
D) Cardiac valve sounds (Aortic, Pulmonary, Tricuspid, Mitral)
E) Water soluble vitamins (Thiamine, Riboflavin, Niacin, Pantothenic Acid, Pyridoxine, Folic Acid, Cobalamin, Ascorbic Acid)

So there. I am learning. And technically studying.

Friday, October 5, 2012

Doing Better

When I was in high school and part of the Science Olympiad team, we jokingly used a Barenaked Ladies' song as our team motto: You can always get it right next time. Partially, we all just really liked Barenaked Ladies and tended to listen to their music anyway, but it was also partially comforting to listen to that song on the ride back from a rather lackluster state competition. It didn't matter if we did really well but still fell short of making it on the to next level, or simply failed, because there would always be another competition, and we could always get it right next time.

I feel like I'm going to adapt this message for medical school. Rather than focusing on getting it "right" next time, I want to simply focus on doing BETTER. Not feeling so well after that last physiology exam? Do BETTER. Think maybe that last clinical interview didn't go quite as it should? Do BETTER.

This epiphany came to me in the anatomy lab, after having listened to quite a few people tie their self-esteem to their test scores. Yes, we all want to do well. We all NEED to do well, so we can become knowledgeable physicians and save lives. But while right now there are clear "right" and "wrong" answers (the facial nerve is not the optical nerve is not the occulomotor nerve, and they all have different functions), it will not also be so clear as I progress in my career.

There will be exams I fail or nearly fail after studying as hard I could - I can do better. There will be exams that I ace - I can do better in the sense that if I ready enough to get a perfect score on a test, I am ready to challenge myself in other areas. There will be interviews where I hit all the required targets - I can do better. There will be patients who die for whom I literally couldn't have done any else. I can still do better, whether it was in how much reading I did on their case, or how much time I spent talking to their family.

There's still a lot of pressure for perfection: ace all of the exams, nail the interviews, do all the interest groups and still have time to grab a beer with friends. But what if I was able to do all of that? What then?

So, my resolution is that no matter where I stand, I can and will do better.

(Someone remind me of this when I get done with my second round of exams next week.....)