Doing Better

When I was in high school and part of the Science Olympiad team, we jokingly used a Barenaked Ladies' song as our team motto: You can always get it right next time. Partially, we all just really liked Barenaked Ladies and tended to listen to their music anyway, but it was also partially comforting to listen to that song on the ride back from a rather lackluster state competition. It didn't matter if we did really well but still fell short of making it on the to next level, or simply failed, because there would always be another competition, and we could always get it right next time.

I feel like I'm going to adapt this message for medical school. Rather than focusing on getting it "right" next time, I want to simply focus on doing BETTER. Not feeling so well after that last physiology exam? Do BETTER. Think maybe that last clinical interview didn't go quite as it should? Do BETTER.

This epiphany came to me in the anatomy lab, after having listened to quite a few people tie their self-esteem to their test scores. Yes, we all want to do well. We all NEED to do well, so we can become knowledgeable physicians and save lives. But while right now there are clear "right" and "wrong" answers (the facial nerve is not the optical nerve is not the occulomotor nerve, and they all have different functions), it will not also be so clear as I progress in my career.

There will be exams I fail or nearly fail after studying as hard I could - I can do better. There will be exams that I ace - I can do better in the sense that if I ready enough to get a perfect score on a test, I am ready to challenge myself in other areas. There will be interviews where I hit all the required targets - I can do better. There will be patients who die for whom I literally couldn't have done any else. I can still do better, whether it was in how much reading I did on their case, or how much time I spent talking to their family.

There's still a lot of pressure for perfection: ace all of the exams, nail the interviews, do all the interest groups and still have time to grab a beer with friends. But what if I was able to do all of that? What then?

So, my resolution is that no matter where I stand, I can and will do better.

(Someone remind me of this when I get done with my second round of exams next week.....)