Dirty Mnemonics

Here's a little insight into the medical mind: we're all a bunch of perverts.

Why? We have to memorize. A lot. And while a fair number of the names we have to memorize make some logical sense (arginosuccinate synthetase SYNTHESIZES arginosuccinate, extensor digitorum longus is a longer muscle that extends the hand, etc), there are a lot of names floating about that are just plain weird and difficult to remember. Compounding this is the fact that we have to memorize a whole bunch of these at once or in relation to each other. What's a poor, overworked medical student to do?!

We make a mnemonic. We come up with or copy someone else's fun little ditty or phrase that helps us remember the order of wrist bones or cranial nerves or whatever the heck it is we're learning this week. And while there are some tame phrases out there, it's of course WAY more fun to remember the dirty ones.

Want to take a guess at what the following mnemonics stand for?

A) Some lovers try positions that they can't handle.

B) Oh oh oh, to touch and feel very good vibrations; such heaven.

C) Some say marry money, but my brother says big boobs matter most.

D) All prostitutes take money.

E) The really naughty perverted people f(ornicate) caudally anteriorly

Yes, these are all things I've learned at medical school. Some of them even from the professors themselves. Give up?

A) Carpal (wrist) bones (Scaphoid, Lunate, Triquetrum, Pisiform, Trapezium, Trapezoid, Capitate, Hamate)
B) the 12 cranial nerves
C) Also related to cranial nerves: tells whether the nerve carries Sensory, Motor, or Both sensations
D) Cardiac valve sounds (Aortic, Pulmonary, Tricuspid, Mitral)
E) Water soluble vitamins (Thiamine, Riboflavin, Niacin, Pantothenic Acid, Pyridoxine, Folic Acid, Cobalamin, Ascorbic Acid)

So there. I am learning. And technically studying.